Here I am, sitting comfortably in my bed. Hoodie on, down comforter, warm fuzzy socks....and it's 1:00am. This is a really odd time for me to write on my blog, especially since I haven't done so in about 2 months, but I feel inclined. And so I will.
I could spend the next few hours catching up on all the events or uneventfulness of the past couple of months, but I'll just do a quick recap.
It was back to school - work - the end of August. This has been the hardest year of my teaching thus far. I switched to 3rd grade, which I'm enjoying in many ways and believe it was definitely a good change for me. I have seven of the same students I did last year, seven that I really enjoyed, so that's been fun to have them again. One of which, who is every teacher's golden child - does every assignment, follows all instructions, helps out, participates in class, and is just a cutie. However the majority of my students this year are quite the opposite. I've found myself in a very tough class, with difficult children, each with very individual and special needs. So for the last couple of months I've found myself completely strung out, exhausted, and lacking for ideas and any way to reach these children and feel like I'm making any difference at all. Well after literally making myself sick for a week and a half and a week or two to recover and some thinking, I've come to some conclusions. These students may not ever be the "perfectly obedient students," in fact I can guarantee they won't be. But they are children. Children who have hard little lives (much more difficult than I could ever know) and it's my job yes to teach them, train them and get them ready as best I can for 4th grade, but my biggest job is to show them love, give them hope, something to look forward to, and make sure that each child knows that they are of worth and someone cares about them. This will be harder with some students than others, but this is my challenge. They have many lessons to teach me I've decided, far more than I will probably teach them.
I've found the need to simplify life. If we're not careful I can find myself going here and there and everywhere with no real purpose other than to be going somewhere and feel like I'm accomplishing something. When in reality I'm not. This week I've taken the time to just be home after work and not go anywhere, but to be home. Choosing to go to bed earlier than normal and just take a break from all the tasks of each day anxiously waiting to fill our agendas. It's been good, eye opening. I've realized over the great importance of prioritizing, putting first things first and letting the little unimportant matters go. I've also realized the blessing and importance of eating healthy, exercising (moving and using my body) and getting plenty of rest. I'm so grateful to sleep in tomorrow!
I'm singing in a choir, as I mentioned before (I think). Rehearsals every Sunday night and our concert next week. It's been a ride, much different than I expected. Much different than last years. Nonetheless, not any less enlightening and life changing. November 1st 5:30 and 7:30 in the Tabernacle - all welcome to attend.
Well I do have more to say, but I'm falling asleep. So instead of continuing and taking the risk of saying something I shouldn't, I'll end for now, and continue soon. Goodnight and rest well! Sigh.......
Friday, October 24, 2008
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